Let’s start with the truth, in the attempt to inoculate you from the steady barrage that your lifestyle is bad, your culture is bad and pretty much everything you do is bad, none of which is particularly accurate.

For starters Americans live longer healthier and more productive lives than ever. You’ve heard me say that before but it bears repeating with the new fear mongering and hysteria over the alleged danger of red meat from the World Health Organization. The WHO is warning anyone that will listen that red meat will kill you- and you need to stop eating it, now. It's all part of the very predictable push toward ending modern farming as we know it, in a misguided effort to save the world from Global Warming. The problem is it just isn't rooted in reality.

Let me explain, again. Don’t worry I’ll go slowly for those of you convinced that somehow a 60 degree day in late October is somehow a harbinger for the end of the world as we know it.

In my lifetime alone life expectancy in America has gone from 68 or 69 to passing 80 years of age. That is an increase in life span by nearly 17% in just 50 years! That is nothing short of monumental. It’s miraculous. During that very same stretch of time the explosion of processed meat products, refined sugar and just about anything you can imagine eating in the kitchen has reigned supreme. Twinkies, Big Macs, potato chips and big gulps loaded with piles of sugar are available on nearly every street corner in any city in America. And yet- despite all of that evil, processed red meat; we continue to live longer each year over the one just passed. But by no means, don’t let that slow down those that really wanna tell you how you should live your life.

What is it about people that so many just want to follow along, never think for themselves but rather just get in with the herd and mosey along? They just graze on a steady diet of outright crap they’re fed day after day. When did people just decide to stop thinking for themselves?

Speaking of which, The United States government finally admitted earlier this year that cholesterol is "not a nutrient of concern" but it seems the WHO missed the memo and the fact we've been lied to about that one since 1955. I’d say the cholesterol lie is a whopper we’ve been fed, right along with billions of dollars worth of statin drugs. Do you think maybe somebody is making money here somewhere? Hmmmmm.

Anyway, back to our story; the WHO's announcement about the deadly dangers of red meats – and processed meats – is not a surprise to anyone following research of carcinogenic qualities of food reported MLive. It’s also not a surprise to anyone following the ever quicker pace of those trying to wrest control of every detail of your life away from you. I look forward to the day that feeding my kids sausage and pancakes on the weekend will constitute child endangerment to the government agents. I look forward to the day the USDA has armed agents with badges. Oh, wait they already do and that day is already here. The food police led by Mayor DeBlasio and First Lady Michelle Obama have already charted a course that will lead directly to your refrigerator.

And just how dangerous is all of this meat according to the WHO? Well the report claims Eating 50 grams of processed meats a day – the equivalent of two to three slices of bacon – increases risk of colorectal cancer by 18 percent. But it gets worse, much worse. The report says processed meats are classified a "Group 1" carcinogen, which means "there is convincing evidence" they cause cancer and get this, that puts them in the same category as tobacco and asbestos. No I’m not kidding. These people think eating sausage is equal to smoking cigarettes, which kill 500,000 of your fellow Americans each and every year.

Meanwhile red meats are classified as "Group 2A," which means there is limited evidence of cancer risk. The association is largely with colorectal cancer, but links also were seen for pancreatic and prostate cancer.

The WHO findings were drawn from an analysis of some 800 different studies from a variety of populations with widely different diets. And if you’re wondering processed meats include: hot dogs, ham, sausages, corned beef, beef jerky, canned meat and meat-based preparations and sauces.

Red meat refers to all "mammalian muscle meat," including, beef, veal, pork, lamb, mutton, horse and goat. The report failed to mention by favorite red meats that come from deer, elk and moose but I am pretty sure hunting is evil to begin with I mean afterall a gun is usually involved.

Anyway- if you don't want that bacon, pass it over here. I'm more than happy to have your share- my fair share as it were and I'll be happy to go to your funeral after you die of fear.

For the rest of us left among the living- those living a hell of a lot longer than any group of people in human history, lets take a moment to take a breath and relax. One of my favorite ways to do that is with a big cup of coffee in the morning while I listen to the bacon sizzle in a giant American made iron skillet alongside some jumbo farm fresh eggs bathing in the grease. I feel good just thinking about it.

Is having a scotch along with it just too much?